An emotional breakdown.

Will you look at the time? It's 11.35am! Woahhhh. 
According to Malaysian school hours, I should be in school now but I'm at home blogging. Hmmmmm, isn't that slightly suspicious? Yeah, I skipped school.

I do believe I had my first emotional breakdown yesterday. I dunno, I just felt so horribly sad throughout this whole week or something. Ok, I know you're gonna get bored with all this teenage rants and probably closed this page already but who knows maybe you'll learn something new. =0

Actually, I'm just ranting to make myself feel better since blogging has been proven to be therapeutic.

My dad was trying to comfort me and was being all philosophical. He was telling me that education was important and that I had to be more confident in my skin.

He also told me to smile more often, to make my face friendlier because we have some sort of arrogant quality. When we're quiet, we just naturally look very arrogant or something. He was talking about 气质 lah.
I think it's the slanted eyes or something. :P

Go under the cut if you want to read!



I normally don't skip school, this is more of a 'desperately need rest' sort of period. I think I cracked under pressure or something but that's just odd since I don't have any form of responsibility so I cannot comprehend why I cried.

Then, I think about it, why the hell am I so bloody negative about myself? I'm not physically or intellectually inadequate, far from it actually for a Malaysian child at this age. I'm normal but not necessarily 'shiny', maybe that's why I'm insecure about myself.

Girls in my school are so Grrrrr! They are pretty, intelligent and are actually NICE! They are close to perfection but are not of course. So, what the fuck does that make me? The ugly duckling of Form 4?
I have the worst tempers possible, I'm a glutton and people don't even ask me for my opinions!

They view me as some idiot who can't think for herself, do I really look as dumb? Do I not blog or speak creatively?

People don't respect me or my views and some even stole my ideas. They probably heard me but disclose it as something at the back of their mind. ==

To be fair, I have terrible social skills. I could probably strike a conversation with some complete random stranger but to people from my school.... not so keen on it. I have no idea why maybe I'm just uncomfortable at the fact that I see them everyday day. I don't voice out my opinions so I don't have much rights to complain about it.

So, in school, I'm somewhat like a wallpaper lah, you see me and don't see me. Imma ninja. =0 I do believe my friends in school are 'popular' since they know most of the people in school and converse with them lah.

Then again,  my friends. AHHAHAA. All are freaking smart arses. They are good in studies and have their own thing going on. Just an example, photography lah. I am probably the most unastounding among the bunch, the only advantage I have over them is my height, I'm just 163cm lah. Don't think I'm so uber tall lah. LOL.

I am so emotionally unstable that I deem myself as dangerous. Beware!

I absolutely love Danielle Chun. :)

I freaked Danielle out yesterday, I was in tears lah.

Hi danielle *voice cracks*

Chia yee.. are you ok? Did something happen..?

Noooo.... I just feel..... sad?

How can I make you feel better?

Erm.... describe how elves look like.

In.....?

Eragon lah.

Welll.... they sound really nice. Wise and graceful, slim and have pointy noses. 

LOLLL. For some reason, I think this can become some sort of movie lah. Like the teacher tells the student of the outside world and the child dreams about it and soon become some great figure in some mystical place. ==

I hope you do continue reading my blog even if this post kind of throws you off. Loll.